ayo rafting

ayo rafting!!!!

to love somebody

TO LOVE SOMEBODY (Bee Gees)

There's a light
A certain kind of light
That never shone on me
I want my life to lived with you
Lived with you
There's a way everybody say
To do each and every little thing
But what does it bring
If I ain't got you, ain't got ?
You don't know what it's like, baby
You don't know what it's like

To love somebody
To love somebody
To love somebody
The way I love you

There's brain
I see your face again
I know my frame of mind
You ain't got to be so blind
And I'm blind, so very blind
I'm a man, can't you see
What I am
I live and breathe for you
But what good does it do
If I ain't got you, ain't got ?

how is the weather???

In England, people usually say "How is the weather?" just to know how bad or good the person is. It's because the weather in England is really changeable so that they (people in England) use this phrase. I learned this phrase from my lecturer who is in charge in Cross-Cultural Understanding B (CCU B) course at Sanata Dharma University. He is Antonius Herujiyanto, Ph.D. He is so funny lecturer. The way he delivers the course is so smooth so that everyone attended the class can be involved fully without exception. On that course I learn about how to understand culture across the world especially in western and eastern (eastern is related to Indonesia) area.

Today's topic was about the common things which Indonesian usually do in their daily life. Those things are cultural things, therefore, there are absolutely good. At this topic we tried to find reasons behind those things. For example, Indonesian might enter a room without knocking on the door. How could it happen? It's because historically people in Indonesia were living in the house which were no private room for each person and of course, there was no door in the house. Indonesian were living in the house which was no door inside so that everyone slept in one big bedroom, called amben. There was only one room from for the head of the family (grandpa and grandma or mom and dad) called senthong. That room was restricted at night because "something" was happening at night which was really private.

That example was only one thing I learned. I imagine that this semester will be so fun in learning CCU B. It is not only the materials that I will have learned but also the situation which is really enriching and empowering me to learn more outside the class.

Now, I do realize that learning English language is not complete if we don't have a thorough understanding of the culture behind it. Yeah, I'm really on the way studying it. I'm really serious because English is a gateway to the world.

djendelo cafe Togamas

I think it is time for me to demonstrate and train my skill in English by writing my blog with English. It may look awkward but this is what I called as a moment of change. Hahaha...I hope so. I have to get used to it although I may need my Encarta's Dictionary near me.

Today I will describe a little bit about a cafe which I usually visit at my leisure time at night in the city of students, Yogyakarta. This cafe is located exactly in the upper of Togamas Bookstore. It opens regularly from 11am -2pm from Sunday to Sunday. It's open everyday dude!!! It sells food and beverages. I don't know the entire menu because I usually order a cup of chocolate which is called "Bedebah berjubah Merah". All the menu in this cafe have their own name which have no correlation between the name and the menu. The names of the menu used here are only for make the situation to be more heroic, old-style or Javanese like. The prices are relatively moderate for students like me. You just bring your 5.000 rupiahs here,then, you'll survive.

accompanied by a glass of chocolate, i can update my blog, find the update for my antivirus, and even acces my personal email and friendster. Your 5000 may become ur golden ticket to get free acces of internet in this cafe only if you have your own notebook.

now, I lost my idea...so it's all...
maybe later, i'll another topic...about ???anything

Pidato Obama

Pagi ini pukul 09.00 WIB calon presiden USA dari partai Demokrat, Barack Obama, baru saja memeberikan pidatonya yang mengukuhkan dirinya untuk bersaing dengan calon dari Partai Republik, John McCain pada pemilu di super Tuesday 4 November 2008

Berikut pidato lengkap dari Barack Obama (sumber dari VOA):

Following is the speech by Senator Barack Obama, entitled "The American Promise," as prepared for delivery 28 August 2008, at the Democratic National Convention:

To Chairman Dean and my great friend Dick Durbin; and to all my fellow citizens of this great nation;

With profound gratitude and great humility, I accept your nomination for the presidency of the United States.

Let me express my thanks to the historic slate of candidates who accompanied me on this journey, and especially the one who traveled the farthest -- a champion for working Americans and an inspiration to my daughters and to yours -- Hillary Rodham Clinton. To President Clinton, who last night made the case for change as only he can make it; to Ted Kennedy, who embodies the spirit of service; and to the next Vice President of the United States, Joe Biden, I thank you. I am grateful to finish this journey with one of the finest statesmen of our time, a man at ease with everyone from world leaders to the conductors on the Amtrak train he still takes home every night.

To the love of my life, our next First Lady, Michelle Obama, and to Sasha and Malia -- I love you so much, and I'm so proud of all of you.

Four years ago, I stood before you and told you my story - of the brief union between a young man from Kenya and a young woman from Kansas who weren't well-off or well-known, but shared a belief that in America, their son could achieve whatever he put his mind to.

It is that promise that has always set this country apart - that through hard work and sacrifice, each of us can pursue our individual dreams but still come together as one American family, to ensure that the next generation can pursue their dreams as well.

That's why I stand here tonight. Because for two hundred and thirty two years, at each moment when that promise was in jeopardy, ordinary men and women - students and soldiers, farmers and teachers, nurses and janitors -- found the courage to keep it alive.

We meet at one of those defining moments - a moment when our nation is at war, our economy is in turmoil, and the American promise has been threatened once more.

Tonight, more Americans are out of work and more are working harder for less. More of you have lost your homes and even more are watching your home values plummet. More of you have cars you can't afford to drive, credit card bills you can't afford to pay, and tuition that's beyond your reach.

These challenges are not all of government's making. But the failure to respond is a direct result of a broken politics in Washington and the failed policies of George W. Bush.

America, we are better than these last eight years. We are a better country than this.

This country is more decent than one where a woman in Ohio, on the brink of retirement, finds herself one illness away from disaster after a lifetime of hard work.

This country is more generous than one where a man in Indiana has to pack up the equipment he's worked on for twenty years and watch it shipped off to China, and then chokes up as he explains how he felt like a failure when he went home to tell his family the news.

We are more compassionate than a government that lets veterans sleep on our streets and families slide into poverty; that sits on its hands while a major American city drowns before our eyes.

Tonight, I say to the American people, to Democrats and Republicans and Independents across this great land - enough! This moment - this election - is our chance to keep, in the 21st century, the American promise alive. Because next week, in Minnesota, the same party that brought you two terms of George Bush and Dick Cheney will ask this country for a third. And we are here because we love this country too much to let the next four years look like the last eight. On November 4th, we must stand up and say: "Eight is enough."

Now let there be no doubt. The Republican nominee, John McCain, has worn the uniform of our country with bravery and distinction, and for that we owe him our gratitude and respect. And next week, we'll also hear about those occasions when he's broken with his party as evidence that he can deliver the change that we need.

But the record's clear: John McCain has voted with George Bush ninety percent of the time. Senator McCain likes to talk about judgment, but really, what does it say about your judgment when you think George Bush has been right more than ninety percent of the time? I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to take a ten percent chance on change.

The truth is, on issue after issue that would make a difference in your lives - on health care and education and the economy - Senator McCain has been anything but independent. He said that our economy has made "great progress" under this President. He said that the fundamentals of the economy are strong. And when one of his chief advisors - the man who wrote his economic plan - was talking about the anxiety Americans are feeling, he said that we were just suffering from a "mental recession," and that we've become, and I quote, "a nation of whiners."

A nation of whiners? Tell that to the proud auto workers at a Michigan plant who, after they found out it was closing, kept showing up every day and working as hard as ever, because they knew there were people who counted on the brakes that they made. Tell that to the military families who shoulder their burdens silently as they watch their loved ones leave for their third or fourth or fifth tour of duty. These are not whiners. They work hard and give back and keep going without complaint. These are the Americans that I know.

Now, I don't believe that Senator McCain doesn't care what's going on in the lives of Americans. I just think he doesn't know. Why else would he define middle-class as someone making under five million dollars a year? How else could he propose hundreds of billions in tax breaks for big corporations and oil companies but not one penny of tax relief to more than one hundred million Americans? How else could he offer a health care plan that would actually tax people's benefits, or an education plan that would do nothing to help families pay for college, or a plan that would privatize Social Security and gamble your retirement?

It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.

For over two decades, he's subscribed to that old, discredited Republican philosophy - give more and more to those with the most and hope that prosperity trickles down to everyone else. In Washington, they call this the Ownership Society, but what it really means is - you're on your own. Out of work? Tough luck. No health care? The market will fix it. Born into poverty? Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps - even if you don't have boots. You're on your own.

Well it's time for them to own their failure. It's time for us to change America.

You see, we Democrats have a very different measure of what constitutes progress in this country.

We measure progress by how many people can find a job that pays the mortgage; whether you can put a little extra money away at the end of each month so you can someday watch your child receive her college diploma. We measure progress in the 23 million new jobs that were created when Bill Clinton was President - when the average American family saw its income go up $7,500 instead of down $2,000 like it has under George Bush.

We measure the strength of our economy not by the number of billionaires we have or the profits of the Fortune 500, but by whether someone with a good idea can take a risk and start a new business, or whether the waitress who lives on tips can take a day off to look after a sick kid without losing her job - an economy that honors the dignity of work.

The fundamentals we use to measure economic strength are whether we are living up to that fundamental promise that has made this country great - a promise that is the only reason I am standing here tonight.

Because in the faces of those young veterans who come back from Iraq and Afghanistan, I see my grandfather, who signed up after Pearl Harbor, marched in Patton's Army, and was rewarded by a grateful nation with the chance to go to college on the GI Bill.

In the face of that young student who sleeps just three hours before working the night shift, I think about my mom, who raised my sister and me on her own while she worked and earned her degree; who once turned to food stamps but was still able to send us to the best schools in the country with the help of student loans and scholarships.

When I listen to another worker tell me that his factory has shut down, I remember all those men and women on the South Side of Chicago who I stood by and fought for two decades ago after the local steel plant closed.

And when I hear a woman talk about the difficulties of starting her own business, I think about my grandmother, who worked her way up from the secretarial pool to middle-management, despite years of being passed over for promotions because she was a woman. She's the one who taught me about hard work. She's the one who put off buying a new car or a new dress for herself so that I could have a better life. She poured everything she had into me. And although she can no longer travel, I know that she's watching tonight, and that tonight is her night as well.

I don't know what kind of lives John McCain thinks that celebrities lead, but this has been mine. These are my heroes. Theirs are the stories that shaped me. And it is on their behalf that I intend to win this election and keep our promise alive as President of the United States.

What is that promise?

It's a promise that says each of us has the freedom to make of our own lives what we will, but that we also have the obligation to treat each other with dignity and respect.

It's a promise that says the market should reward drive and innovation and generate growth, but that businesses should live up to their responsibilities to create American jobs, look out for American workers, and play by the rules of the road.

Ours is a promise that says government cannot solve all our problems, but what it should do is that which we cannot do for ourselves - protect us from harm and provide every child a decent education; keep our water clean and our toys safe; invest in new schools and new roads and new science and technology.

Our government should work for us, not against us. It should help us, not hurt us. It should ensure opportunity not just for those with the most money and influence, but for every American who's willing to work.

That's the promise of America - the idea that we are responsible for ourselves, but that we also rise or fall as one nation; the fundamental belief that I am my brother's keeper; I am my sister's keeper.

That's the promise we need to keep. That's the change we need right now. So let me spell out exactly what that change would mean if I am President.

Change means a tax code that doesn't reward the lobbyists who wrote it, but the American workers and small businesses who deserve it.

Unlike John McCain, I will stop giving tax breaks to corporations that ship jobs overseas, and I will start giving them to companies that create good jobs right here in America.

I will eliminate capital gains taxes for the small businesses and the start-ups that will create the high-wage, high-tech jobs of tomorrow.

I will cut taxes - cut taxes - for 95% of all working families. Because in an economy like this, the last thing we should do is raise taxes on the middle-class.

And for the sake of our economy, our security, and the future of our planet, I will set a clear goal as President: in ten years, we will finally end our dependence on oil from the Middle East.

Washington's been talking about our oil addiction for the last thirty years, and John McCain has been there for twenty-six of them. In that time, he's said no to higher fuel-efficiency standards for cars, no to investments in renewable energy, no to renewable fuels. And today, we import triple the amount of oil as the day that Senator McCain took office.

Now is the time to end this addiction, and to understand that drilling is a stop-gap measure, not a long-term solution. Not even close.

As President, I will tap our natural gas reserves, invest in clean coal technology, and find ways to safely harness nuclear power. I'll help our auto companies re-tool, so that the fuel-efficient cars of the future are built right here in America. I'll make it easier for the American people to afford these new cars. And I'll invest 150 billion dollars over the next decade in affordable, renewable sources of energy - wind power and solar power and the next generation of biofuels; an investment that will lead to new industries and five million new jobs that pay well and can't ever be outsourced.

America, now is not the time for small plans.

Now is the time to finally meet our moral obligation to provide every child a world-class education, because it will take nothing less to compete in the global economy. Michelle and I are only here tonight because we were given a chance at an education. And I will not settle for an America where some kids don't have that chance. I'll invest in early childhood education. I'll recruit an army of new teachers, and pay them higher salaries and give them more support. And in exchange, I'll ask for higher standards and more accountability. And we will keep our promise to every young American - if you commit to serving your community or your country, we will make sure you can afford a college education.

Now is the time to finally keep the promise of affordable, accessible health care for every single American. If you have health care, my plan will lower your premiums. If you don't, you'll be able to get the same kind of coverage that members of Congress give themselves. And as someone who watched my mother argue with insurance companies while she lay in bed dying of cancer, I will make certain those companies stop discriminating against those who are sick and need care the most.

Now is the time to help families with paid sick days and better family leave, because nobody in America should have to choose between keeping their jobs and caring for a sick child or ailing parent.

Now is the time to change our bankruptcy laws, so that your pensions are protected ahead of CEO bonuses; and the time to protect Social Security for future generations.

And now is the time to keep the promise of equal pay for an equal day's work, because I want my daughters to have exactly the same opportunities as your sons.

Now, many of these plans will cost money, which is why I've laid out how I'll pay for every dime - by closing corporate loopholes and tax havens that don't help America grow. But I will also go through the federal budget, line by line, eliminating programs that no longer work and making the ones we do need work better and cost less - because we cannot meet twenty-first century challenges with a twentieth century bureaucracy.

And Democrats, we must also admit that fulfilling America's promise will require more than just money. It will require a renewed sense of responsibility from each of us to recover what John F. Kennedy called our "intellectual and moral strength." Yes, government must lead on energy independence, but each of us must do our part to make our homes and businesses more efficient. Yes, we must provide more ladders to success for young men who fall into lives of crime and despair. But we must also admit that programs alone can't replace parents; that government can't turn off the television and make a child do her homework; that fathers must take more responsibility for providing the love and guidance their children need.

Individual responsibility and mutual responsibility - that's the essence of America's promise.

And just as we keep our keep our promise to the next generation here at home, so must we keep America's promise abroad. If John McCain wants to have a debate about who has the temperament, and judgment, to serve as the next Commander-in-Chief, that's a debate I'm ready to have.

For while Senator McCain was turning his sights to Iraq just days after 9/11, I stood up and opposed this war, knowing that it would distract us from the real threats we face. When John McCain said we could just "muddle through" in Afghanistan, I argued for more resources and more troops to finish the fight against the terrorists who actually attacked us on 9/11, and made clear that we must take out Osama bin Laden and his lieutenants if we have them in our sights. John McCain likes to say that he'll follow bin Laden to the Gates of Hell - but he won't even go to the cave where he lives.

And today, as my call for a time frame to remove our troops from Iraq has been echoed by the Iraqi government and even the Bush Administration, even after we learned that Iraq has a $79 billion surplus while we're wallowing in deficits, John McCain stands alone in his stubborn refusal to end a misguided war.

That's not the judgment we need. That won't keep America safe. We need a President who can face the threats of the future, not keep grasping at the ideas of the past.

You don't defeat a terrorist network that operates in eighty countries by occupying Iraq. You don't protect Israel and deter Iran just by talking tough in Washington. You can't truly stand up for Georgia when you've strained our oldest alliances. If John McCain wants to follow George Bush with more tough talk and bad strategy, that is his choice - but it is not the change we need.

We are the party of Roosevelt. We are the party of Kennedy. So don't tell me that Democrats won't defend this country. Don't tell me that Democrats won't keep us safe. The Bush-McCain foreign policy has squandered the legacy that generations of Americans -- Democrats and Republicans - have built, and we are here to restore that legacy.

As Commander-in-Chief, I will never hesitate to defend this nation, but I will only send our troops into harm's way with a clear mission and a sacred commitment to give them the equipment they need in battle and the care and benefits they deserve when they come home.

I will end this war in Iraq responsibly, and finish the fight against al Qaeda and the Taliban in Afghanistan. I will rebuild our military to meet future conflicts. But I will also renew the tough, direct diplomacy that can prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons and curb Russian aggression. I will build new partnerships to defeat the threats of the 21st century: terrorism and nuclear proliferation; poverty and genocide; climate change and disease. And I will restore our moral standing, so that America is once again that last, best hope for all who are called to the cause of freedom, who long for lives of peace, and who yearn for a better future.

These are the policies I will pursue. And in the weeks ahead, I look forward to debating them with John McCain.

But what I will not do is suggest that the Senator takes his positions for political purposes. Because one of the things that we have to change in our politics is the idea that people cannot disagree without challenging each other's character and patriotism.

The times are too serious, the stakes are too high for this same partisan playbook. So let us agree that patriotism has no party. I love this country, and so do you, and so does John McCain. The men and women who serve in our battlefields may be Democrats and Republicans and Independents, but they have fought together and bled together and some died together under the same proud flag. They have not served a Red America or a Blue America - they have served the United States of America.

So I've got news for you, John McCain. We all put our country first.

America, our work will not be easy. The challenges we face require tough choices, and Democrats as well as Republicans will need to cast off the worn- out ideas and politics of the past. For part of what has been lost these past eight years can't just be measured by lost wages or bigger trade deficits. What has also been lost is our sense of common purpose - our sense of higher purpose. And that's what we have to restore.

We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country. The reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than for those plagued by gang- violence in Cleveland, but don't tell me we can't uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals. I know there are differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit the person they love in the hospital and to live lives free of discrimination. Passions fly on immigration, but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers. This too is part of America's promise - the promise of a democracy where we can find the strength and grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort.

I know there are those who dismiss such beliefs as happy talk. They claim that our insistence on something larger, something firmer and more honest in our public life is just a Trojan Horse for higher taxes and the abandonment of traditional values. And that's to be expected. Because if you don't have any fresh ideas, then you use stale tactics to scare the voters. If you don't have a record to run on, then you paint your opponent as someone people should run from.

You make a big election about small things.

And you know what - it's worked before. Because it feeds into the cynicism we all have about government. When Washington doesn't work, all its promises seem empty. If your hopes have been dashed again and again, then it's best to stop hoping, and settle for what you already know.

I get it. I realize that I am not the likeliest candidate for this office. I don't fit the typical pedigree, and I haven't spent my career in the halls of Washington.

But I stand before you tonight because all across America something is stirring. What the nay-sayers don't understand is that this election has never been about me. It's been about you.

For eighteen long months, you have stood up, one by one, and said enough to the politics of the past. You understand that in this election, the greatest risk we can take is to try the same old politics with the same old players and expect a different result. You have shown what history teaches us - that at defining moments like this one, the change we need doesn't come from Washington. Change comes to Washington. Change happens because the American people demand it - because they rise up and insist on new ideas and new leadership, a new politics for a new time.

America, this is one of those moments.

I believe that as hard as it will be, the change we need is coming. Because I've seen it. Because I've lived it. I've seen it in Illinois, when we provided health care to more children and moved more families from welfare to work. I've seen it in Washington, when we worked across party lines to open up government and hold lobbyists more accountable, to give better care for our veterans and keep nuclear weapons out of terrorist hands.

And I've seen it in this campaign. In the young people who voted for the first time, and in those who got involved again after a very long time. In the Republicans who never thought they'd pick up a Democratic ballot, but did. I've seen it in the workers who would rather cut their hours back a day than see their friends lose their jobs, in the soldiers who re-enlist after losing a limb, in the good neighbors who take a stranger in when a hurricane strikes and the floodwaters rise.

This country of ours has more wealth than any nation, but that's not what makes us rich. We have the most powerful military on Earth, but that's not what makes us strong. Our universities and our culture are the envy of the world, but that's not what keeps the world coming to our shores.

Instead, it is that American spirit - that American promise - that pushes us forward even when the path is uncertain; that binds us together in spite of our differences; that makes us fix our eye not on what is seen, but what is unseen, that better place around the bend.

That promise is our greatest inheritance. It's a promise I make to my daughters when I tuck them in at night, and a promise that you make to yours - a promise that has led immigrants to cross oceans and pioneers to travel west; a promise that led workers to picket lines, and women to reach for the ballot.

And it is that promise that forty five years ago today, brought Americans from every corner of this land to stand together on a Mall in Washington, before Lincoln's Memorial, and hear a young preacher from Georgia speak of his dream.

The men and women who gathered there could've heard many things. They could've heard words of anger and discord. They could've been told to succumb to the fear and frustration of so many dreams deferred.

But what the people heard instead - people of every creed and color, from every walk of life - is that in America, our destiny is inextricably linked. That together, our dreams can be one.

"We cannot walk alone," the preacher cried. "And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back."

America, we cannot turn back. Not with so much work to be done. Not with so many children to educate, and so many veterans to care for. Not with an economy to fix and cities to rebuild and farms to save. Not with so many families to protect and so many lives to mend. America, we cannot turn back. We cannot walk alone. At this moment, in this election, we must pledge once more to march into the future. Let us keep that promise - that American promise - and in the words of Scripture hold firmly, without wavering, to the hope that we confess.

Thank you, God Bless you, and God Bless the United States of America.

(end of speech)

mimpi

Tiga hari yang lalu aku mimpi aneh. Mimpi yang mungkin gak pernah aku bayangin sebelumnya. Aku mimpi lagi main kartu tapiaku lupa waktu itu jenis permainannya apakah remi, 4-1, samgong, black jack, aku bener2 lupa. Tapi yang jelas aku gak paham sama jenis permainan kartu yang lagi aku mainkan saat itu, makanya aku kalah terus. Nah pas aku lagi asyik main kartu dengan 3 temanku yang lain di suatu meja itu, tiba-tiba ada seorang cewek cantik yang dateng dan dia mengahmpiriku. Langsung aja saat itu aku jadi deg-deg-an karena emang dia bener2 cantik. Sebut saja dia si cantik. Si cantik ini lalu mengambil posisi di belakangku persis dan mengajariku bagaimana caranya bermain. Karuan saja, aku jadi tambah semangat dan akhirnya bisa menang. Hahahaha, mantap. Tapi sayangnya lagi seru-serunya mimpi, tiba-tiba aku terbangun. Mungkin otakku tahu diri kali ya. Kalau dalam mimpiku muncul cewek cantik kayak gitu bawaannya bisa jadi mimpi basah. Hahahaha.

Anyway aku seneng banget dengan mimpi itu, karna apa ya...Hmmm di mimpi itu aku bisa jadi punya petualangan baru, dunia baru. Sesuatu yang sama sekali sulit terjadi di kehidupan nyata. Tapi uniknya tiap mimpi indah yang pernah aku lalui, aku gak pernah bisa memilih tokoh yang akan masuk mewarnai mimpiku. Tidak jarang temen SD-ku bisa tiba2 muncul di mimpiku. Mantan2ku dan cewek2 yang pernah aku kejar2 sampai setengah mati pun gak ketinggalan dapet peran di dalam mimpiku. Lucu memang tapi itulah yang selalu terjadi dalam mimpiku.

Satu lagi yang khas dari mimpiku especially untuk mimpi basah. Entah karna aku menaruh respek yang besar pada tiap cewek yang aku kenal, maka tokoh wanita yang selalu muncul di mimpi basahku selalu kabur dan gak jelas. Kalaupun jelas itu pun cuma body dan nafsunya doang. Ahahaha...Biasanya setelah terbangun dari mimpi basah aku cuma bisa mereka-reka kalau tokoh wanita yang barusan itu si A,B, atau C. Hehehehe....

Pernah suatu ketika, aku berencana untuk mimpi basah dengan seorang wanita sebut saja Kamboja (hehehe, maaf ya untuk yang bernama kamboja). Saking seriusnya ingin bermimpi dengannya, sebelum tertidur bayangan wajah dan tutur katanya coba aku gali dan ingat-ingat. Saking capeknya aku menggali dan mengingat, tak terasa aku tertidur. Eh begitu bangun keesokan harinya celanaku gak basah dan mimpiku malah mimpi lagi main bola sama temen2. Yang ada bukan celanaku yang basah tapi malah punggungku berkeringat karena terlalu asyik menjiwai peran di dalam mimpi. Maklum saat itu aku jadi pemain yang tugasnya di tengah merebut bola dari lawan. Memang apes. Tapi gak apa2 karena di tiap mimpi aku selalu bertemu dengan wajah temen2ku yang udah sekian hari, bulan, dan tahun tidak bertemu...

Jadi gak sabar menunggu datangnya malam.
Selamat bermimpi. jelajahilah dunia fantasimu di mimpi. Mumpung mimpi masih gratis!!!

i wanna run

Baru saja aku terbang melintasi samudera yang begitu luas dan biru. Sebegitu indahnya sampai tidak terasa sudah tujuh bulan lamanya aku terbang. Mungkin layak kiranya kalau perjalanan terbangku diperingati menjadi 7 bulanan. Yah senang sekali merasakan teriak sekeras-kerasnya di udara tanpa ada kekangan dan halangan. Semua menjadi begitu bebas adanya. Bebas dan lepas, mungkin itu bisa mewakili tujuh bulan lamanya aku terbang.

Tapi aku ini petualang sejati. Aku bosan dan aku butuh tantangan baru. Bagiku terbang lepas dan bebas sudah tidak menarik lagi bagiku. Semuanya itu sudah berubah menjadi hal yang menjemukan. Hembusan angin yang sebelumnya begitu lembut dan nyaman kurasakan, kini tak lebih dari pengusap kotoran di wajahku saja. Aku benar-benar ingin sesuatu yang baru. Sesuatu yang bisa membuat jantungku benar-benar berdegup sekencang kereta api ekspres. Aku ingin bermandikan keringat yang pekat di sekujur tubuhku. Sungguh aku ingin itu dengan segenap hatiku. Aku rela mendapatkan itu meskipun untuk itu nyawa dan harta kupertaruhkan.

Aku benar-benar ingin berlari untuk membuat jantungku dinamis lagi. Ingin kurasakan juga tiap butiran keringat keluar dari pori-pori tubuhku. Tidak perlu tujuh bulan lamanya untuk berlari. Cukuplah satu bulan saja. Ayo berlari. Aku ingin berlari mengejar mimpiku, impianku. Berlari dengan segenap jiwa, raga, dan pikiranku...

Aku ingin satu bulan ini kuberlari menyusuri tiap jengkal mimpi dan impianku. Aku akan berusaha sebaik mungkin dan sekencang mungkin dalam berlari.

Memori De Britto

Blog ini kutulis di hari sabtu menjelang minggu. Baru saja aku pulang nonton ketoprak di de britto, eh disana bukannya nonton malah ngobrol2 sama temen2 lama yang kebetulan juga ikutan nonton (niatnya tapi akhirnya nimbrung ngobrol juga) dan juga beberapa temen2 seangkatan dulu yang kebetulan jadi panitia dadakan untuk lustrum XII De Britto. Salut, walaupun dengan segala kesibukan mereka, masih sempat juga kembali ke SMA yang pernah menjadi tempat berproses. Maaf kata2nya agak melankolis. harap maklum karena jam2 segini emang bawaannya jadi melo.

De Britto bagiku tak akan pernah lekang oleh waktu karena ada begitu banyak suka dan duka yang kesemuanya terangkum indah menjadi sebuah memori SMA. Suatu lembaran hidup yang mungkin menjadi monumen titik balik-ku untuk benar2 belajar menjadi manusia yang hidup. Menjadi garam dan terang bagi sesama, atau biasa di De Britto disebut Man for Others yang dilandasi semangat AMDG (Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam = demi kemuliaan Tuhan yang sebesar-besarnya).

Sauasana ngobrol2 asyik yang ditemani suara riuh ketoprak (aku gak tau lakonnya apa) seperti mebuka jendela komunikasi ke teman2 lama. Ada kabar2 baru mulai dari teman2 ATMI yang sukses bahkan teman satu kelasku dulu di kelas 3A2 baru saja kembali dari Itali setelah sebulan training. Hebat bung hendy!!! aku salut...Entah semangat apa yang bisa membawamu terbang sampai sejauh itu. Bahkan ada juga cerita tentang beberapa teman yang baru saja lulus, melanjutkan studi profesi (semoga sukses).

Pertemuan dan ngobrol2 ringan ini seperti me-recharge kembali semangat ku. Entah kenapa ada suasana nyaman di dada ini. Bukan perasaan iri atau malu, tapi ada seperti desiran kenyamanan bahwa "semuanya akan baik2 saja". Seperti ada bisikan kecil yang muncul di hati kecilku kalau masa depan tak perlu aku risaukan terlalu dalam. Cukuplah kalau aku berusaha sebaik mungkin untuk hari ini karena hari ini benar2 sebuah hadiah yang tak ternilai harganya sehingga harus benar2 dijalani dengan penuh gairah atau passion. Today is a real present for me.

Layak kiranya kalau aku ucapkan syukur sedalam-dalamnya ke hadiratmu Tuhan Yesus. Kau bawa ku ke suatu masa dan Kau damaikan hatiku karena suatu pertemuan. Terima kasih ya Tuhan, aku sangat yakin bahwa ini semua bagian dari rencana-Mu. Bimbinglah aku selalu untuk lebih menghargai tiap kesempatan yang Kau berikan kepadaku. I love U.

Doa koronka

Jika anda tidak keberatan ,doakanlah doa ini ketika anda butuh lebih dekat dengan sang maha pencipta. Percayalah, doa ini akan membimbing kita untuk menjalin relasi yang lebih dekat dengan sang maha pencipta.

Doa Koronka
Bapa Kami:
Bapa kami yang ada di surga dimuliakanlah nama-Mu, datanglah kerajaan-Mu, jadilah kehendak-Mu, di atas bumi seperti di dalam surga. berilah kami rejeki pada hari ini dan ampunilah kesalahan kami seperti kami pun mengampuni yang bersalah kepada kami dan janganlah masukkan kami ke dalam percobaan tetapi bebaskanlah kami dari yang jahat. Amin,

Salam Maria:
salam Maria penuh rahmat Tuhan sertamu. Terpujilah engkau di antara wanita dan terpujilah buah tubuhmu Yesus. Santa Maria bunda Allah, doakanlah kami yang berdosa ini sekarang dan waktu kami mati. Amin.

Aku Percaya:
Aku percaya akan Allah. Bapa yang maha kuasa pencipta langit dan bumi. dan akan Yesus Kristus, putra-Nya yang tunggal yang dikandung dari Roh Kudus, dilahirkan oleh perawan Maria, yang menderita sengsara dalam pemerintahan Pontius Pilatus. disalibkan, wafat, dan dimakamkan. Pada hari ketiga bangkit dari antara orang mati. yang naik ke surga duduk di sebelah kanan Allah Bapa yang Maha Kuasa. dari situ Ia akan datang mengadili orang hidup dan mati. Aku percaya akan roh kudus, persekutuan para kudus, pengampunan dosa, kebangkitan badan, kehidupan kekal. Amin.

(*)Bapa yang kekal, kupersembahkan kepada-Mu, Tubuh dan Darah Puteramu yang terkasih Tuhan kami Yesus Kristus sebagai pemulihan dosa-dosa kami dan dosa seluruh dunia

(**)didoakan 10x
demi sengsara Yesus yang pedih, tunjukkanlah belas kasih-Mu kepada kami dan seluruh dunia

(*) dan (**) diulang 4 kali lagi

(***) didoakan 3x
Allah yang Kudus, Kudus dan berkuasa, Kudus dan kekal, kasihanilah kami dan seluruh dunia.

Amin.


p.s.: semoga Tuhan memberkati kita dan seluruh dunia

I'm doing my thesis

Nowadays, I'm a little bit tired of what I'm doing now. I face the last chapter of my study in undergraduate. I know that it would be the hardest part than any other things at the moment. I have to finish it when the situations are really stressful and sometimes I thought that I'm not capable enough to accomplish it.

Besides there are some so many supports from my family, friends, colleges, and also my lecturers, it is still to hard for me to get rid it of my face. Sometime I doubt with my capability to make it over. The more I look deeply to my objectives the more I find that it is so hard to be done.
So, what should I do? Give up?

I am male. I have to be optimistic to see the future. I think my thesis is only one chapter. I'm surely believe that it is never going to be my whole life no matter how hard it is.
I still have a dream to reach and struggle. I think what I feel now is just a glimmer of emotion that means nothing to the whole thesis. I just have to demonstrate my feeling and emotions in order to get ready for tomorrow.

The business for today is only for today. Let tomorrow get the new portion. I believe the mystery in tomorrow will surprise me. Tonight, I'll keep my experience I got today in my history book. Thank to God for a great present today.

i wanna fly

Sejujurnya, aku tak lebih besar dari butiran pasir di pantai. Aku pun tak sekuat rumput liar di halaman. Mimpiku pun tak setingggi badanku. Tempurungku masih terlalu kuat untuk kutembus. Hasratku mentah dan rapuh. Semangatku selama ini pun hanya kesemuan belaka. Terlalu banyak luka yang belum kusembuhkan.
Aku terdiam sejenak untuk merenung. Benar-benar untuk merenung. Hening dan diam untuk mencerna. Semakin aku cari semakin tak jelas. Tapi semakin tak jelas, semakin jelas ku paham bahwa hidupku ini maha tidak sempurna. Diri ku adalah kosong. Kosong dan bernar-benar kosong.
Aku jadi paham, semakin aku mencari kesempurnaan di dunia ini, semakin aku tidak sempurna dan terlihat semakin bodoh.
Nah, maka dari itu, aku mau terbang. Aku ingin bukan karena kau ingin mencari kesempurnaan, tapi aku mau merasakan sari pati kehidupan dari yang paling dalam. Aku benar2 mau hidup secara utuh. Aku mau hidup menjadi makhluk yang benar2 sosial. menjadi garam dan terang bagi kehidupan alam sekitar. Aku mau menghargai setiap eksistensi yang ada di sekitarku seberapa pun ganjilnya.

sang Lucifer

Dulu kala ada makhluk buruk rupa yang dikutuk keluar dari neraka karena selalu berkata yang baik-baik, padahal dirinya sangat nyaman sekali dengan kehangatan neraka. Ketika sampai di bumi dia merasa seperti di rumahnya yang dahulu karena ternyata bumi juga sama hangatnya dengan neraka hanya bedanya di neraka semua orang jujur kalo mengakui mereka itu penjahat sedangkan di bumi yang penjahat mengaku sebagai orang baik dan orang baik memilih diam.

Anehnya ketika dia sampai di bumi, ternyata tiap orang di bumi tidak ada yang ketakutan begitu melihat dia. Perasaan diterima seperti ini membuat dia berangsur-angsur mulai melupakan neraka yang panas. Tapi kenyataan bahwa dia hanya dikutuk selama 30 hari memaksanya harus berpikir untuk terus menetap di bumi. Setelah 30 hari maka akan diputuskan apakah dia akan kembali ke neraka atau dimusnahkan.

Dia berencana menjadikan 30 hari di bumi sebagai hari-hari yang tidak akan pernah dilupukan dalam sejarah hidupnya. Di sisi lain dia juga sedikit rindu dengan suasana di neraka. Untuk mencapai impiannya itu, maka dia merencanakan kejahatan yang tidak akan pernah dilupakan oleh tiap orang di bumi. Dengan kejahatan yang dibuatnya, dia berharap dapat diterima lagi sebagai anggota tetap persekutuan neraka jahanam.

Di minggu pertama dia menyebarkan fitnah untuk mengadu domba tiap manusia bumi. Tapi ternyata keadaan di bumi sudah penuh dengan fitnah, maka apa yang dia lakukan tidak dianggap oleh raja neraka sebagai suatu yang original. Dia lalu berpikir keras untuk melancarkan kejahatan yang super dahsyat.

Di minggu kedua, dia merasuki pemimpin-pemimpin dunia untuk menciptakan perang. Hal ini juga gagal karena perang yang telah dirancang pemimpin dunia jauh lebih mengerikan dari pada yang dirancangnya. Kegagalan ini lagi-lagi mengubur impiannya untuk mendapat tiket mulus kembali ke neraka.

Lalu kemudian minggu ketiga dan keempat dengan pasrahnya, dia tidak melakukan apa-apa alias diam karena benar-benar tidak ada ide. Dia hanya melihat dan berkeliling di bumi melihat tiap kejahatan terjadi tiap detiknya. Bahkan dia juga bisa merasakan dan membaca pikiran-pikiran jahat dari tiap orang yang ditemuinya. Selama 2 minggu terakhir itu, dia hanya mencatat kejahatan-kejahatan yang ditemuinya.

Akhirnya tibalah hari ke-30, hari dimana dia harus menghadap raha neraka untuk menentukan nasib terakhirnya.

“Kejahatan apa yang sudah kau lakukan untuk dunia?”, tanya sang raja.

“ Aku tahu kau maha tahu tentang kejahatan-kejahatan. Kau pun pasti tahu bahwa 2 minggu pertama kejahatan yang ku lakukan tak berarti apa-apa. Kau pun juga telah melihat 2 minggu terkhir ini aku hanya diam saja dan tidak melakukan kejahatan. Aku kini pasrah atas putusanmu.” Jawabnya dengan pasrah.

“Oke kalau begitu. Kau kini boleh masuk kembali ke dalam kerajaan neraka. Kau akan kuberi jabatan penting di sini.” Jawab sang raja dengan mantap.

“Hah, bagaimana bisa? Bukankah kau melihat sendiri tidak ada kejahatan yang berarti telah kulakukan untukmu.” Jawabnya dengan perasaan tak menentu antara gembira dan bingung.

“Aku sangat terkesan dengan 2 minggu terakhirmu. Kau tidak melakukan apa-apa di saat kau tahu bagaimana mencegah kejahatan-kejahatan besar terjadi tiap detiknya di bumi. Kau bisa membaca pikiran orang dan sebenarnya kau bisa mencegah mereka melakukan kejahatan. Tapi kau memilih diam dan hanya mencatat saja. Bagiku diam di saat sesuatu yang benar harus dilakukan adalah kejahatan yang paling besar.” beber sang raja dengan lugas.

“Dengan ini kau kuberi jabatan sebagai malaikat pencabut nyawa yang mencatat tiap kejahatan orang dan mencabut nyawa orang yang akan meninggal. Kau kuberi nama Lucifer. Mulai hari ini kau kuutus ke bumi sebagai utusan neraka.” tambah sang raja dengan mantap.

Sejak saat itulah, Lucifer selalu berkeliling di bumi mencatat tiap kejahatan manusia. Dia juga selalu siap untuk mecabut nyawa manusia menjelang ajalnya dan memberikan laporan-laporan tentang dosa manusia di hadapan pengadilan. Dia inilah saksi kehidupan, sang Lucifer.

-nOeL-

tenang saja teman...

setelah lama gak nulis, bisa dibilang selama januari gak ada produktivitas di ngopijoss.. Tapi akhirnya kembali. Pagi ini aku mau ngulas tentang ketenangan. 
Di jaman ini, setiap aktivitas dan mobilitas kita dituntut dengan deadline2 yang kadang2 membuat stress. Padahal ketika kita sedang stress, dijamin apa yang akan kita kerjakan menjadi tidak optimal. Semua menjadi seadanya saja. Tidak ada lagi kualitas di situ . Yang ada hanya pemenuhan tuntutan. Celakanya, kalau hal itu terjadi terus menerus secara berkelanjutan, secara tidak sadar kita seperti menjadi budak atas nama pekerjaan atau uang. Kita menjadi tidak tolerir lagi akan hal2 lain yang bersifat manusiawi di sekitarnya.

Sungguh kejam memang. Tapi itulah yang terlihat sekarang ini di tengah masyarakat. Sebagai contoh, di kelas masih banyak orang yang mencontek. Masih menjamurnya korupsi di mana2. Sekarang ini manusia menjadi kompetitor bagi sesamanya. Tidak ada lagi semangat untuk maju bersama-sama. Saling mengisi kekurangan satu dengan yang lain. Impiannya menjadi semakin kerdil lagi. Sudah tidak bebas.

Sebenarnya apa masalahnya hingga menjadi sedemikian parah? Satu kesimpulan kecil, manusia sekarang adalah generasi yang tidak pernah tenang. Mereka terlalu khawatir akan apa yang harus dilakukan esok hari, apa yang harus dipersiapkan agar memiliki masa depan cerah, apa yang harus dimakan esok hari, dan masih banyak lagi kekhawatiran lainnya. Kekhawatiran inilah yang menyebabkan manusia mulai kehilangan identitas atau hakikat pribadinya. Mereka menjadi produk dari jaman-nya sendiri. Jarang sekali muncul suatu kepercayaan diri untuk keluar dari belenggu ini. Jarang muncul mimpi2 indah akan masa depan yang lebih baik bagi diri sendiri dan bagi dunia.

Kalau masalahnya seperti itu, lalu apa solusinya? Solusinya bisa mudah bisa juga sulit. Kuncinya adalah ketenangan.  Seperti saat berdoa, ketenangan akan membawa kita dalam dialog yang bersifat pribadi antara diri kita 
dengan jiwa kita ataupun dengan Tuhan. 
Saat tenang itulah kita bisa menjadi seutuhnya diri kita bukan menjadi yang "seharusnya" 
Ketika diri kita tenang, saat itulah secara tidak sadar kita menarik diri sejenak dari keramaian dunia untuk berdialog atas apa yang harus kita lakukan dalam menjadi diri kita.

Ketenangan disini juga identik dengan kesabaran. Ketenangan di sini bukan berarti lambat. Yang dimaksud di sini adalah bagaimana kita secara jernih dan obyektif menilai suatu persolan lalu mengolahnya dalam batin untuk kemudian menyimpulkan aksi yang harus dilakukan. Dalam ketenang perlu adanya positif dan obyektif dalam berpikir.

Maka dari tiu, sekarang yang menjadi pertanyaan, apakah kita siap menjadi diri kita sepenuhnya? dalam belajar apakah kita dituntut atau menuntut ilmu? bekerja demi uang atau bekerja karena cinta? apakah kita lebih banyak memberi atau menerima?

tarik nafas panjang. rasakan kesegaran. hembuskan nafas, buang kepenatan. tarik nafas lagi, rasakan pergerakan udara dalam hidung masuk ke tubuh. rasakan ketenangan dan kenyamanannya. Bertindak dan bekerjalah dengan perasaan seperti kita menarik nafas. Hidup itu indah, maka dari itu hidup harus bermakna.